


Go To the Light

by DormireAmore



Series: Fate Of The Young Wolves [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Destiny, F/F, My babies get me very soft, Pre-Game: Destiny 2: Forsaken DLC, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24397819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DormireAmore/pseuds/DormireAmore
Summary: She's suffering. Let her go.-Book 3 of the Courage series. A song fic of Lilian's in-betweens.
Relationships: Female Guardian/Female Guardian (Destiny), Guardian/Guardian (Destiny)
Series: Fate Of The Young Wolves [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757854
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Go To the Light

_A lonesome star in a bitter sky  
I hear the hungry ghosts calling out in the night _

The Traveler is its own creature. Unknown on what it is exactly, Guardians and humans alike have learned to simply not question its motives. Protecting us to protect it was a theory Ikora Rey had. Why else would this massive almost planet of a thing creates the Guardians? Or Ghosts to start out with that. 

They tell the new Guardians that the Traveler chose them because they were pure light; and now they have to protect that light. But even Ikora wasn't sure that was true. 

Ghosts all over will hunt for their Guardian. Decades. Centuries. Hungry for the person they know is theirs. 

_Just a couple victims of this brutal reprise  
Am I strong enough to let things just die._

Scout stood, anxiety flooding in her chest. The wind howled around her, waving her robes violently and the only thing keeping the Warlock from collapsing on the ground was her hand tight on the cold metal railing in-infront of her. Hollow was the feeling that flooded Scout's system. 

Below her the City buzzed around. Repairs happening, Guardians getting bounties. Below her. High above it all on the tallest point of the Tower Scout stood still. Listening to the thunder roar in the distance and the Traveler humn above. Her Void tingling in her fingers and up her spine. 

It was hard to die and come back. Over and over again. At first it was a gift, but the more you die, the more you realize how quickly and easily it was to become numb to the feeling of dying. 

People all over told the Hunters, the Titans, the Warlocks that it was "A gift!" Illmortality at its finest. The kindergaurdians sure believed them. But the couple victims who had decades to centuries of this pattern under their belts? Death was no longer a feeling at all. 

Pain tolerance was on unimaginable levels, half of everything was a horrible paralyzing feeling. Many at this point just went into the woods and never came back. Suicide missions were higher the longer you were a Gaurdian, and Scout was getting to that feeling. 

But even she wasn't sure she could do it. A battle the Warlock knew she couldn't win. 

_fight and I fight  
Just to keep the spark alive _

It was considered weak for a guardian to give up. As much as one wanted to crumble to the floor, or just sit there in defeat. They had to push themselves up, reload their weapon, and charge into the fury that had just killed them a few minutes prior. A pattern that could only be broken by complete defeat. 

Many fought because it was an honor to join the battle against the darkness. Ikora in her earlier days did that as well. A fresh guardian, she was excited to go out and get vex kills under her belt. Complete a fresh bounty knowing that no one else had done it, but you.

But, now in her more recent Vanguard years when fighting against the darkness turned more to guiding others how to, it was hard to keep that spark alive. It always was. 

But if there's nothing on the other side  
Why can't I leave well enough alone and go to the light?

Dying. She was dying. Lilian reached forward, towards her daughter's hand and held tight. Her body shields the child’s own. Pulse fire shot all around the pair, barely any shelter under the broken concrete. Screams echoed in her ears and all the mother could do was protect her own. 

“It’s going to be okay sweetheart, I promise it’s all going to be okay,” Lilian tried to soothe Sophia, all as the girl shook like a leaf under her. Truth was both of them knew it wasn’t going to be alright. They were going to die here today, any second now. 

“I love you Mommy,” the usually mute girl told her, brown eyes filled with tears looking up. 

Lilian just reached forward and cupped those soft cheeks, her own face covered with tears. “I love you too.” 

So as they waited for that bullet to come, for one of those creatures to find them; Sophia held on to her hand for dear life, and Lilian Scout wondered what would be on the other side. Truly something like heaven for her daughter. A true angel in her life. 

But for her? She was afraid that nothing would be in the light for her. 

_Go to the light  
Go to the light_

Those first few moments, as the Traveler woke her up was absolute agony. 

Centuries of being dead, then being woken up was hell on Earth for Scout. Half of her was still dying. In pain. Dying. While the other half was just stretching her legs, fresh awake. 

Going to the light. She was burning, the light hurt too much. 

_A shadowy hand turns the page  
A dark theatre, move across the stage_

As one hand sent out Onyx to scan the Vex machine in front of her, another turned around and loaded her gun back up. She stood still, taking the rare moment of peace to get her stuff together again. They had just jumped down a small cliff to get a scan of the machine for Ikora and her hub of data, and then the plan was to jump down even more into the black abyss to where their wanted target sat in the depths of Nessus. 

"Guardian, you might want to see this!" Her ghost suddenly gave a destressing chirp and the Warlock spun around, quickly giving a small jump on top of the cliff to where they were moments before.

Her words went right in her throat and the Warlock barely kept her gun straight, quickly holstering it. "Oh, Traveler..." Scout softly whispered, going weak to her knees and reaching forward. Wondering how she didn't notice this. 

Towards the right of the cliff edge there was a whole stack of ghosts shells, covered in Nessus's dark coarse sand and what she hoped wasn't blood but deeper inside the Warlock knew that answer to that. "This is a whole purge." 

Onyx, hesitating with good reason inched forward and gave the poor ghosts a scan, then disintegrated as fast as they could back into her robes. 

"How the Traveler did this go without anyone knowing for so long?" Scout softly questioned as Onyx silently sent the scan to the Vanguard. 

She could feel her ghost get more and more anxious by the moment and Scout felt the same. 

"I don't know Guardian, and I'm afraid I don't want to know either." 

Yeah, she really didn't. 

_Teeth like a cone, scrape against the sky  
Feelin' alone in room full of life_

That first night in the new Tower, Scout and Onyx were forced to come to the front of the massive gathering. 

A celebration for ages to come, with lanterns all around the Annex, smells of vendors selling food, the sound of pure joy between the crowd. 

Our Warlock was not paying attention to quick really any of it; stuck by Ikora's side trying to make it seem like she wasn't about to puke. 

After all these months of fighting and death, it almost seemed wrong to celebrate. Even if the Traveler stood shining above. But in between the harsh screeching of talking and the cracked pieces of her light, Scout felt quite like the Traveler's physical appearance. Ikora must have felt her light screaming in the pure dread of having to speak in front of the whole City, but there was nothing she could do but grip tight on her robes and try to focus on Onyx's dim words inside her mind. 

Scout just wanted to go back to her dorm and sleep, forget the whole night. 

The Vanguard had other ideas though, dragging her to where Hawthorne usually stood and looked down. To the faces she knew, young and old Guardians. She felt so disconnected up there, scanning the crowd, part of her looking for a way out. 

The moment Scout walked to the edge of the balcony, an almost hush waved over the crowd. 

She could feel Onyx trying to soothe her, but the Warlock hardly felt it. Finally after a few throats clears, she spoke. 

"4 months and 2 days ago to this very point, we had our own home snatched away by the claws of Ghaul and the Traveler taken with it. Heavy hardship, dedication to our cause, and gaining what ours was back made every life, every Guardian, every ghosts life worth it…" 

She must have spoken for 2 minutes or so, feeling more and more empty from reality, feeling hollow from everything. 

The Red War took a lot of things away, but it mainly took her energy. To the point where every step was a battle, waking up seemed like a war. Scout really wanted to go to bed. 

_Stealing a few extra moments and fighting against time_

Spider was never going to allow Scout to get another bounty from him again, but with the chaos in her head; the Warlock was silently okay with this. 

Sending it in with only 55% of materials collected, she stumbled to her feet and simply ran to the closet hiding hole in Thieve's Landing. 

Scout's light dimmed to a summer below her skin and the Guardian tried to get her breath under control. It fogged the glass of her helmet up, covering her view like steam sticking to a bathroom mirror. 

But she couldn't take it off, the air in Tangled Shore was a toxic wasteland. It stuck to your lungs like glue and was heavy and dark, suffocated you slowly with every breath. 

Onyx without any words sent out a call for someone because their guardian wasn't responding. The ghost could hear the screeches of Cabal and again tried to get her attention, but Scout was still stuck in the depths of a nightmare, watching something that wasn't happening in front of them; rather over 7 centuries behind. 

Shaking to her core, Scout barely kept a grip on her gun. It would later show that Onyx sent a tracker that even Guardians from Nessus heard. 

The desperate beg of help, someone needed to help them.

_Pushed on and pushed aside_

In the Vanguard meeting room, it was dead silent. The Warlock stood at the end of the table, the only thing keeping her from raising hell was the fact that as much as people believed it was self ruled, the Guardians in fact took orders from the Vanguard leaders.

Her hands shook in their gloves, she couldn't keep still. Scout was angry, a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. It rushed in her bloodstream feeding the beast inside. Giving it energy to raise up and grow. They weren't trusting her, why weren't they trusting her? 

"Guardian I'm sorry, but we can't just take your word for it. A god rising up, surely you aren't just sleep deprived-"

The Warlock cut off the Titan Commander with a look of pure disbelief. "What do you mean you can't take my word for it? I've done nothing for this City but protect it to wits end, why would I lie about a threat to it!" 

"Because that," Cayde-6 pointed out, down to her hands. Even covered by the gloves you could see Void trying to leak through. "You're unstable, Scout. Since you've gotten connected to the Traveler your Light is almost too much, a damn firework waiting to pop." 

She was about to argue back when something stopped her. A hand on her wrist. Scout silently watched as Ikora took the light she had gathered unconsciously and took it for herself. "You must work on simmering down this, my Warlock. It's powerful against the darkness, but you're burning yourself too with every summon," the other Warlock softly spoke as she eased Scout into her chair. 

The white haired woman just nodded, with a silent 'I know' on the tip of her tongue. 

_I've changed my song to match each story, I've changes sides_

There was blood on her hands. It was shiny on her pants, coated her robes like a second layer, on the bottom of her boats. 

The Guardian left red footsteps like a sick trail up the steps. It was in the gears of her guns. It wouldn't get off. Every day the blood wore off slowly, but Scout can still see it to this day. She stepped slowly down the hallway of the old Tower, hands brushing against the walls and door frames.She didn't want to open any of them, afraid of what to find behind it. 

It seemed to stretch on, walking down that hallway, the end farther than it was a minute ago. Scout started to pick up her pace but it won't get any closer. 

The Warlock broke out in a sprint, it was still not moving- suddenly an iron tight grip on her wrist yanked on her down and Scout flew backwards, slamming her head on the ground. 

Breath caught in her lungs, vision took a moment to focus but when it did she was terrified. A Guardian stood above her, cracked facemask and gushing blood wound leaking down.

The white haired Voidwalker stared up in silence, as if in slow-mo the presumed dead Guardian slowly reached down and took a bloody hand against her helmet. 

"You did this, you traitor. You killed me," the thing harshly spat out in disgust all while Scout was stuck there frozen on the ground. 

"I-I I'm sorry!" The Warlock cried out, finally finding the energy to yank her wrist out of the creature's hand and stumbling back like prey caught in a trap. 

It just gave a crumbled laugh and moved forward, the smell of death following in it's bank. "You killed me and my sisters and their brothers. YOU KILLED THEM ALL!" 

With a sudden solar pulse, Scout flew backwards once more, time seeming to catch up. "No, no I didn't, I'm so-sorry," she sobbed, trying to stop the inevitable death that seemed coming. 

"I'm sorry..." 

_Redeem myself for everyone I've buried with these hands?_

At the end of the hanger stood a wall of carved names. New and old mingingled together to create a wall of people who fought tooth and nail to their last breath. 

An hour before the break of dawn stood Scout standing in front of this memorial. Watery eyes, standing weak; she allowed herself to feel this way without a single soul to bear witness to it, but even then the Warlock's cries were silent. 

Some people were just born with tragedy in their blood, Guardians included. And unfortunately the Voidwalker had found this out the long way around. 

She knew every single one of those names carved with pure Travelers light, could tell you what their favorite gun was, was able to whisper softly what they were wearing when they died. It was no closed secret that the Warlock blamed herself for at the very least, half the names enriched in the stone. 

Ikora was one of many to tell her that it was worth no time to do this, to blame herself for all these names. 

Scout's own ghost had given up on the matter as well. Whenever the feeling of guilt became too much (usually after what seemed to be a long week of no sleep), Onyx would try to softly argue, but eventually took the silence as a no and would leave to Traveler knows where. 

Scout reached forward and touched the monument of her sins, sighed, and turned back around; footsteps echoing as the single figure in the hanger left only the whisper of her Light behind, handprint swimming in purple. 

_I fight and I fight  
Just to keep the spark alive_

These days when Scout got knocked down, it takes more than a few encouraging words from Ghost to get her to stand up. It's an aggressive pattern of falling and falling again. 

Forever free falling down the abyss, the  
Warlock was drowning in her light. All while the darkness called for her on the deeper side. 

Scout was dying a slow death, where with every revival another cell was gone; and soon there would be nothing left. 

But if there's nothing on the other side  
Why can't I leave well enough alone and go to the light?

It's been rumored that Vanguard had been theorising Scout's true side of nature. 

Having always been a Guardian, it was almost never unheard of for someone to simply leave the good side and move into the Traveler's shadow. 

But with every bad move by the famed Voidwalker's end, the Vanguard as a whole became more and more pressed to watch every move. 

Scout took this as a personal offense as sorts, who were they to tell her what side she was on, let alone doubt it!

The sting of Ikora's words stuck Scout right in the chest, as she glared harshly at the Warlock leader. With every second that she stood there against the other Warlock at the edge of the tower, the Void inside her grew stronger; ready to break free at a moment's notice. 

"What do you mean, that you cannot trust me?" The Voidwalker softly questioned, voice hushed against the wind that howled against it so high above. 

The woman in rich pink robes seemed to be defeated at that accusation, pausing to rub a hand across armor. "It's not that I don't trust you Guardian, it's that with every encounter your light seems to be in pain-

Scout cut in, "Has me facing even Gods in the Vanguard's honor done nothing for you?" She hissed, pissed. 

"I have done all of your bidden, of Zavala's, of Cayde's since the very second I was first rezzed and this is what I get in return? A 'We are afraid you are going to go to the Darkness.' That's a kick in the fucking face Ikora!" 

The woman had the reserve to not look guilty, but slight shame did seem to settle a little in her features. "That is simply not what we mean, Scout. Nor what I mean, we are just worried."

Scout snapped, pulling out her Cerberus+1 and aimed it right inbetween Ikora's two eyes. " I should shoot this right damn now, and I could you know. Just kill you, Traveler knows that you think I could without hesitation. You know the saddest thing is that bertyal never comes from your enemies, it comes from people you see everyday. Those you consider friends, people who seemed to be your family." 

The Warlock's eyes were a pure purple shade, her super glowing under her skin pulsing like the blood under her skin. Scout gave an empty, forced chuckle and lowered the gun, "Don't expect to see me any time soon." 

And with that she dissolved within the light, gone. Leaving a rarely shaken Ikora Rey, wondering what the hell just happened.


End file.
